Nixon: Now More Than Ever

Yep. That’s why I have been MIA. Once I recover from some serious jet lag I’ll be back in action.

I had a wonderful shoot today with little Ryder. I’m just convinced he is the cutest and sweetest little boy in the world! And, his hair…it stands up naturally all the time! How completely precious is that? His mama did style a mohawk for me later on in the shoot. I just can’t get enough of this little guy and got more than a reasonable amount of amazing shots. In fact…we captured an absurd amound of cuteness today. Here’s just a little taste of the hundreds of great shots from today.

FYI-my website WILL be up soon…as in a couple of weeks. That’s my goal. I’ll let you know.

one indestructible, impenetrable, everlasting, unfading coat of arms (literally). Main duties will include but not be limited to: covering my heart on my sleeve, guarding emotions on command, stopping tears before they begin welling in my eyes and the like. Sheer fabrics need not apply.

My tender heart. That’s the topic of the day. Why? you ask? Because, gosh darn-it! I’m sick of being so emotional!

Well, here goes. What do you want to bet I can’t even TYPE this without tearing up?

So, last week was a great success. I was able to welcome our newest niece, Leah Elizabeth into the world on Sunday. She is a beautiful girl and already seems to encapsulate the sweetness that a name like Leah suggests. I was able to spend some quality time with both her and our other niece Elenna (3). Therein begins the problem.

Anytime I am able to spend an extended period of time with my family I am truly overjoyed. My heart was full from this occasion and even though I missed James ever-so-much and was definitely ready to come home at the end of the week…it just wasn’t easy. My silly heart always seems to get in the way and once again I found myself in tears as I said goodbye to my family. As many times as I have been through this one would think I could handle it better. One would think wrong.

I prepared myself all week. This is no lie. While it is always hard to leave my family after any trip, it is especially hard after the birth of a baby; a baby I was privileged enough to help welcome into the world. When Elenna was born and I had to leave her the very next day, tears were more than flowing…they were flooding. Of course, the same could be said during her birth so maybe, I thought, it would be easier this time. This time, like with Elenna, I was present for Leah’s birth. And while it was just as much of a miracle as with Elenna, I didn’t cry this round. Of course, that could be due to the fact that she came so quickly there was no time for tears. I was focused on capturing her first breaths on camera and so my mind was a bit occupied. I didn’t mind this distraction in the slightest. I hoped it would be a forecast of things to come. Well, like in daily life, the forecast was wrong.

So, like I said, I had been preparing for my goodbye all week. “I will not cry. I will not cry” ran steadily through my mind. I constantly thought about how happy I would be to get home and see James. I thought about us having our own baby. I thought about anything other than actually saying goodbye.

[On a side note: I had my 10 year reunion this weekend and it was incredibly fun...much more than I ever had expected. It was great catching up with old friends and seeing where life had taken them. During one of our events a good friend mentioned something to me about how emotional and soft-hearted I've always been. Seriously? I had no idea what she was talking about. I'm a brick. house.]

Anyway, back to the story. So…the day arrives for me to say goodbye. I’d been holding Leah and playing with Elenna, trying to stretch the time out as much as possible but then, it was time to leave. As I stood up to say goodbye I felt it coming. Crap. It was getting to the point of no return. Waters were rising and would soon be spilling down my face. I was talking to my mom and sister and trying my best not to look at either of them because I knew that the moment I made eye contact, I’d be through. And so it happened. (and is happening all over again as a write this…told you) The tears began pouring and my jaw was straining under the pressure to keep from chattering. Interestingly enough, when I tried to tell Elenna goodbye she nearly gave me the cold shoulder. We learned a long time ago that she, like her aunt, despises goodbyes. However, she, unlike her aunt, has the right idea. She barely acknowledged my goodbye and kept her mind set on the task at hand. Playing. No tears. No long drawn-out hugs. It’s quick and it’s over. Rip that bandaid! Oh…what I could learn from her!

So…I shed my tears for a bit longer while I was in the car by myself and then my blubbering slowly came to an end. What a pain all of this is. My makeup (apparently here illegally) had decided to beat the INS and run south for the border. My contacts are had now begun to blur from all of my salty tears. (And seriously, if for no other reason than this, I need Lasik.) And my nose…so stuffy that breathing is becoming less and less of a reality. All of this because Jonna can’t seem to get control of her stupid emotions. ARGH.

I could go on and on but I think you’re getting the picture. In my world the breakdown is simple and looks somewhat like this:

emotions = pure evil.

I will leave you with this last thought. In Psalm 56:8 David writes about God collecting our tears in a bottle. While that my be true for most, I would venture to say that God has employed the use of a keg for mine. Cheers.

I’m coming home!!! See you tomorrow James Nixon! I love you!

I’m back and I’ve got some serious blogging to do! I’ve already started about 3 different posts so give me a day or so and you’ll have some new reading as well as pictures! See you soon!

Alright folks. It’s official. I’m back and better than ever! I’m sure that since you are on this page you are aware of the move from Blogger to WordPress. No huge reason except I like the layouts better and was able to aquire the domain name that I wanted. I thought I would be able to use layouts from other sources but I believe that to do so I must call upon the mighty dollar for help. That’s something I’m not quite ready for.

So you’re wondering what the point of this blog is? Well…let me tell you: new beginnings people, new beginnings. Since I have left the working world I’ve started to embark on a new adventure…the life of a housewife. But wait! It doesn’t stop there! After gazing into my crystal ball I can see children in the future. NO, that doesn’t mean I’m pregnant. I’m not. It just means that it’s on the ‘to do’ list of Mr. and Mrs. Nixon. This October will mark the 4 year anniversary of this happy marriage and let’s face it…we’re not getting younger. So…it’s almost time. And don’t worry, you’ll be kept up-to-date on the proceedings with play-by-play precision. Just kidding. This is a family site. PG folks…PG. We’re keeping it clean here.

Having said all that I’d like to welcome you back to the daily musings of my mind. Any feedback is much obliged.